This Head Music Makes My Eyes Rain
by RequX
Summary: The clock ticks and tocks, never ending. It's so comforting... But it is a horrible and terrifying clock.


"This place..." His eyes opened and in his vision was an empty chair. He looked around and realized he was sitting on a couch in the middle of a living room. But this wasn't his room. He'd never been here before. "Where am I?" He wondered.

"Are you scared?" A voice spoke startling him a bit. He saw a shadowy figure sitting in the chair that was empty only but a second ago. He tried to make out who it was, but the figure's face was covered in darkness. "You don't recognize me?" The figure spoke again.

"I..." The voice sounded familiar to him. But he couldn't quite put his finger on it. The voice was familiar but it sounded disoriented. Somehow though, he could understand this voice perfectly clear.

"Haha." The voice calmly laughed. "It's okay if you don't remember me. It's to be expected I suppose. But...even though you don't know me, I know you...Cloud Strife. I know you very well."

"Is that right?" Despite how strange the situation seemed, Cloud wasn't the least bothered by it. He just continued to sit on the couch calmly taking in everything that was going on as if it was normal.

"Tell me Cloud do you know why you're here?"

"If you want to tell me then go ahead. I have all the time in the world." Cloud leaned back against the couch.

"Haha... What an interesting choice of words." The figure mused. "Then, considering you have all the time in the world, how about we talk?"

"I guess... But, I'm not really good at talking with others."

"That's right. You've always been like that... But that is okay. If you'd like, you can just listen and I'll do all the talking." Cloud said nothing. Only looked over towards the closed window to the left of him. "Do you think it's bad? Not being able to converse with others?" Silence. "They say it's unhealthy not socializing. It's because us human beings are such weak and frail creatures. We constantly seek out the attention of others because we can't stand being alone. But, there are also those who take comfort in solitude. Those people are terrified of being hurt or rejected. So, they create a wall around themselves not letting anyone in. But, even that never works because eventually people want others to notice them. However, since they've been alone in their own personal cage for so long, they are unable to connect with the rest of human society. They fall into loneliness, frustration, madness..." The figure paused and stared at Cloud. "Of course, you don't have to worry about those things. You were fortunate enough to have people who care about you. Enough to want to be with you forever." Cloud's eyelid twitched at that sentence.

* * *

"_Hey Cloud what's wrong?" Cloud glanced at the woman walking towards him. The wind gently blew through her long brunette hair with strands of it caressing her face. The two were in a park on a nice sunny day. Spring had finally come after a long and cold winter. "The air... It smells so nice. I just love the smell of spring." The woman closed her eyes with a smile enjoying the lovely breeze that came. She looked down at Cloud who was sitting on one of the swings looking down at the ground. He seemed so gloomy and a bit out of place compared to the cheerful and bright scenery surrounding them. "You know Cloud, I'm here for you if you need to talk about anything." She sat on the vacant swing next to him._

"_Tifa..." He turned to her as she looked back at him with loving eyes. He knew how she felt about him. He knew for a long time. But he could never return those feelings. Not when..._

* * *

"Are you remembering something?" The figure interrupted. "Perhaps what I've said triggered a forgotten memory?" Cloud looked at the shadowy figure feeling just a bit disturbed by him. "I see I'm bothering you."

"..."

"Is there something you would like to say?" Silence befell the room once again and Cloud looked back at the window feeling a sense of...tension in the atmosphere. "Love... It's so strange isn't it. Just what makes someone love another so...unconditionally? To love them so much that they're completely blinded of their faults." Cloud fidgeted a little. "She loved you. But you already knew that." The figure chuckled. "It's such a shame... You couldn't love her back."

"Why are we talking about this?" Cloud's irritation started to grow. "Just why am I even here?"

"Ah, so you're finally starting to question this situation?" The figure mused once again. "This room... It's very important to you."  
"Huh?"

"This room is where everyone goes to once in a while. Mostly to run away from situations that are just...unbearable to deal with." Cloud was confused. Just what was this person talking about? "There's nothing wrong with running away." The figure spoke as if it was trying to comfort Cloud. "It's okay to come here when you need to."

"Why are you..." Cloud wasn't sure what to say. Everything seemed rather eerie to him. "Just what the hell is this room?"

* * *

**Tick Tock**

_It's that sound again. Haunting him. No matter how hard he would try to block it out, that sound would always be there. It was Cloud's own personal hell. He wish he knew how to turn it off. But it was no use. That just seemed impossible for him._

"_Why won't you talk to me?" There she goes again. Trying to 'talk' to him. Again she would try to bring him comfort._

"_Just leave me alone." And again, he would reject her. What was there to talk about? There's so many things wrong with him he didn't even know where to start._

"_Why?" Tears started to fall down her cheeks. "Why do you try so hard to block me out? Do you really hate me so?" No. That's not true. He didn't hate her. It was was the opposite truthfully. But, it's impossible for him to reach out to others. Much less to her._

"_Tifa... Please just go away."_

_**Go away**_

"_Cloud... You're so cold..."_

* * *

**Tick Tock**

Cloud glanced over to the sound and saw a grandfather clock set in the corner of the room.

"Why do you block others out anyway?"

"I told you already. I'm not good with people."

"Yes that is true. But...is that really it?

"...?" Just what was this person getting at Cloud wondered.

**Tick Tock**

Cloud stared at the clock feeling a sense of irritation. Was that clock always there?

"That sound... It's pretty loud for a clock isn't it?"

"..."

"I know. You really can't stand that sound. But, for me, I quite enjoy it. It's rather comforting." The figure laughed.

**Tick Tock**

"The clock is always there... Whether you want it to or not."

* * *

**Tick Tock**

_It's so bright. The sun... It's such a wonderful day to play outside. Too bad that didn't happen like Cloud wanted it to be. Instead of tag or sports, a few kicks and punches to the face was what he got._

"_You should have stayed home." The young boy gave a final kick to Cloud's face before walking off with the rest of his group. Time passed but Cloud continued to lay there and stare at the sun hanging so high in the sky. _

_'Why doesn't anyone like me? Is there something wrong with me?' He asked himself. He did try to get along with the other kids in his town, but none of them seemed to want to be bothered by him. He finally sat up and wiped the blood from under his nose. He'd have to explain himself to his mom again. That wasn't going to be fun. He loved his mother very much and he'd do anything to make her happy. So the thought of her being sad because of him made Cloud upset. It's always like this. Everyday he'd try to make friends or at least take some kind of comfort of being alone. And everyday, he would make his mother upset because of the scratches and bruises he'd get from the other kids. It was so very frustrating. "It's not my fault..." tears started to form in his eyes. "It's not my fault...but why does it always feel like it is?" He couldn't hold it in anymore and so he cried just like any other normal ten year old would. "It's not my fault, it's not my fault... It's not-"  
**No...it's not your fault**_

"_But, why does it hurt so much?"  
**Don't cry. You have nothing to cry about. The ones who are at fault are those kids They're the ones who are making your mother sad.**_

"_But, I don't know what to do... I try to fight back but...there's too many of them."_

_**What are you talking about? There's nothing you can't handle. You're strong. Much stronger than those weaklings...**_

"_Huh?" He wiped the tears from his eyes. He blinked a few times and found himself standing right in the middle of three bodies on the ground surrounding him. Blood was everywhere even on Cloud's shirt and traces of it were on his face as well. "W-Wha...What is this!?" He saw the faces of the bodies and recognized them as the kids who always picked on him. "Th-they're-!" Before he could even finish his sentence, bile risen up from his stomach and he fell to his knees and threw up on the ground._

"_Monster!" Cloud heard someone, the voice of one of those kids, call him out from behind. He turned and saw the young kid crying while picking up a rock and throwing it at Cloud. He missed however, but he didn't stop. "You're a monster!" _

"_What are you talking about?" Cloud forced himself to get up and tried to walk towards him._

"_Stay away from me! Don't come anywhere near me you monster!"_

"_Why...? Why are you...!?" Cloud saw the kid walking backwards toward the edge of a cliff and his eyes widened in fear._

"_Don't go back any further!" _

"_Go awa-!?" It was too late. The young boy took his last step and then fell backwards to his death._

"_NO!" _

* * *

**Tick Tock**

Cloud stared out the window with his eyes wide. His face had gone pale and his hand was shaking.

"My, my you look sick." Cloud looked towards the figure. "Are you not feeling well today?"

"I'm...fine..."  
"Are you sure? You don't look too sure about it yourself." Cloud averted his gaze to the ground. "It's okay to be weak from time to time. After all, we are only human. We can't always be tough."

**Tick Tock**

"Does that clock have to keep ticking?" Cloud leaned forward with his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. He sighed in frustration towards the sound of the clock.

"Well Cloud...it is a clock. And that is what clocks do. Besides, it's really not that loud. It's only because of your strong attachment to this clock that makes it feel more louder than it's supposed to."

"Attachment?"

"You were always crying in that room. That clock was the only thing you would talk to whenever you were feeling truly alone. And that...was all the time."

* * *

"_Everyone hates me. But I don't know why... Do I really seem so strange? I don't want my mother to worry about me. So...I have to make friends so I can fit in and seem normal to her." Cloud cried in front of the tall grandfather clock before him. He had no one to talk to. No one who would listen. He didn't want to burden his mother so he wouldn't ever go to her for comfort. Every night, when his mother was asleep, he would sit in this room in front of the clock and stare at his reflection in the glass door. He would sometimes vent and other nights just sit in silence hearing the clock ticking every second. Most recently, he started talking about the other kids at school and in the town who would always pick on him. He would bad mouth them and other times, when at his darkest days, wish harm to them. No one would ever hear how he really felt so he didn't think he was doing anything wrong. And so, this continued for a very, very long time until him and his mother moved out leaving the clock behind._

* * *

"I wonder if that clock is still there?" The figure thought about it. "It was a really nice clock too."

"No...No! I shouldn't have had those thoughts of them. Those terrible thoughts I had wished for those kids... I-I didn't mean to!"  
"But of course you did. Otherwise you wouldn't have thought of it. Cloud, you shouldn't think it was wrong. Everyone is like that. We all wish for bad things for other people from time to time. It's within our nature to do so. No one is perfect simply because, as I've said before, we are human. Once you've accepted that, then everything will be okay. Life goes on you know. You can't dwell on that sort of thing. You'll go insane if you do..." The figure stopped himself before he suddenly laughed. Cloud looked at him wondering why he was laughing until the figure calmed himself. "I'm sorry. I caught a random laughing fit. That was rather rude of me." Silence fell once again with Cloud feeling rather uneasy about his memories. "You know...your mother was a very lovely woman." Cloud flinched hearing him mention his mother. "I guess she just couldn't take it anymore."

* * *

"_Mother! Mother wake up! Wake up!" No sign of movement or any life for that matter. But Cloud convinced himself she was only sleeping. The way she was laying in her bed under the sheets with her eyes closed. One would think she was sleeping. But, this time, she wasn't ever going to open her eyes._

* * *

"Don't talk about her!" Cloud raised his voice as he immediately yelled at the figure. "Don't ever talk about her again!"

"..." The figure stood silent.

"She's dead now. So there's no reason to bring her up..."  
"...You're right. Let the dead stay dead I suppose. But Cloud...why are you here this time?"

"...?" Cloud was confused.

"Wow... I'm amazed at how weak-minded you can be sometimes. How many times has it been now?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I knew you'd say that. That's your response every time. I guess your brain is going through a severe breakdown at the moment. You can't control it can you?"

"Control what? Why aren't you making any sense?"

"...I see. So it's that bad." Another moment of silence. "Cloud...why don't you let me take care of everything?" Again Cloud was confused. "You can't deal with this anymore. It's too painful for you and it's gotten out of hand."

"Why can't you just explain to me what the heck you're talking about?"

"Because Cloud, I'm done explaining." The figure's voice was stern. "How many is it now? They're piling up so much, I can't even keep count anymore. Oh yeah... I forgot about that one... I guess that's another one to add to the list. Maybe the last for you. But...that's fine. That's why I'm here. To take care of you."

"Take care of me?"

"You know, despite the countless times we talk in here, and despite how your ignorance tends to annoy me from time to time, I do enjoy talking with you. I love my working time as well. Oh, I love that a lot. But I can't help but muse and wonder if these little get togethers in here are you unconsciously trying to intervene with my work." As if in synch with each other, the two stood up from their seats with Cloud's eyes never leaving the figure's covered face.

**Tick Tock**

"Are you scared of people or are you scared of me?"

**Tick Tock**

"You don't scare me at all... It's people that frighten me..."

"That's right. It's because of them that I'm here... And if you get hurt by them, then-"

**Tick Tock**

"So...does that mean I'm actually scared of you?"

"I don't know. Are you?"

**Tick Tock**

"I don't know... But..."

"But...?"

"I sometimes wish that..."

**Tick Tock**

"...That I can turn you off."

**But you just did.**

Cloud blinked and in his view was his hands clenching tightly at something cold. His eyes widened and he immediately loosened his grip. The realization was terrifying. He did it again but this time, he wasn't the victim.

"No..." He lift up the woman's cold and lifeless body and hugged her. "No...Oh God...no... I...I never wanted it to be like this... Tifa..." He sobbed and cried until eventually, the silence took over. And it remained that way for the rest of the night. And for the following days to come.


End file.
